Yep, we know what you’re thinking. Relationship advice for newlyweds is like issuing house buying tips to estate agents or, erm, barking pointers to dogs. The honeymoon period is a time of gushing, free-wheelin’ romance like no other, and as such, a period where the relationship needs little more in the way of nurturing than another tumble between the sheets. This is the idyllic version of events. The reality, though, is that previously foreign words like cohabiting, compromise and communication suddenly enter the vernacular, and the gravity of a life spent together suddenly looms large. Being mindful of this early on in the marriage, we think, can lay the foundation for many happy years ahead. With that in mind, here are 5 IDEAL relationship tips for newlyweds.
SCHEDULE FREQUENT DATE NIGHTS
The term ‘date night’ is one dreaded by many in a relationship; a sign that things have got too cosy and comfortable. But, just as you courted each other in the early throes of your romance, so you should in marriage too. Life can get both chaotic and doldrum, and the focus can quickly turn on to other things. Those date nights for just the two of you are important, then, in giving you the time and space to communicate with each other, and providing a reminder of the carefree times. Consider ‘day dates’ too, putting the whole day aside to explore something or somewhere new together.
PUT THE TWO OF YOU FIRST
Sunday lunch with the in-laws. New mums coffee mornings. Pint(s) with colleagues. As the marriage gets cosy, priorities start to face outwards. But, as with the importance of date nights, it’s vital to keep things exciting in your marriage so that the spark never dwindles. Write each other love notes, or send each other sweet text messages when the other least expects it, dress up for one another, buy each other spontaneous gifts and continuously find ways to spice up your romantic life. Marriage is about exploring together and finding ways to make each other happy in all spheres of the relationship. Too often, couples slack in their relationship once they’re married, but trust us – this is the root of all problems. If anything, couples should work harder once they get married because there is so much more to lose. Protecting your sacred connection should be top priority, always.
If you like to follow the traditional story that life writes for you after your wedding, then starting a family normally follows not far behind. When getting to this point, some couples choose to test their fertility. This way, you’ll be able to detect quickly whether or not you may need to consider fertility treatment, and plan your future carefully and with the gravitas that the decision demands. Places like Wijnland Fertility can help with this, as well as offer guidance on a wide variety of treatments.
COUNSELLING AS PREVENTION, NOT CURE
Often couples turn up their nose to counselling because they think it’s only for relationships that are on the rocks. But as the saying goes, prevention is better than cure. As such, counselling can also help you two to communicate in the most effective way; strengthening your connection and relationship in an arena free of judgment and distraction. Often, the counsellor is really just mediating certain issues or touch points, and making way for a clear, honest path of conversation that may not always be easy for you two to accomplish on your own. Every single relationship has its weaknesses, and if you’re willing to identify what yours are, professional help can turn them into strengths.
I’LL BE THERE
A – scrap that – the key ingredient to a successful, happy marriage is supporting each other even when times get tough. Although much of your life is lived as a unit, sometimes an individual may go through a period of hardship separate and unique from the couple. It’s during this time that support is most vital, as taking the rough with the smooth is what a successful life together depends on.